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Eddie Rabbitt - I Don't Know Where To Start

I hadn't heard this song in a while. Then it pops up on my radio while I'm driving home from work on a rainy day.  So perfect, so fitting. Love this song

Eddie Rabbitt - I Don't Know Where To Start lyrics

LyricsMode.com
 

Much ado about shoe (..or stripper shoes not allowed)

 

Stripper shoes?



Recently in my office, the question of appropriate office footwear came into sharp focus. The opening shot in this shoe saga, seems to have been the return of one of the ladies to work, after a 3 week break wearing, what I generally consider to be, stripper shoes. You know the kind .. suede platforms with 6-inch heels. The kind that make me take one look at them, clutch my back and moan, "Oy vey!". The young miss (they're always young, aren't they) was called into the manager's office and advised not to return to work in those shoes. Shortly after that, a safety article was re-circulated in the office advising all of the safest heel height for shoes (for those of you who don't know, it's 1-1/2 inch). Anything higher than that, the article pointed out, increases the risk of trips, slips and falls, and is generally a safety issue. Much ado about shoes!

I remember at the first job I had, footwear was extremely conservative. "Court shoes", they said. No toes (or even toe cleavages) were to be showing. No wedges, no slingbacks, no platforms, no patterned shoes and heel height was to be a minimum of 2 inches and a maximum of 3 inches. Even the guys were restricted - lace up oxfords or loafers (no tassels). Deck shoes or sneakers NOT ALLOWED!






But the question still remains - is what is deemed acceptable office footwear really just a manifestation of someone's personal preference? Personally, I still can't get used to members of my team wearing high-heeled strappy sandals to work - a hold-over from the years spent at my first job. Do I have the right to tell those who report to me that they are not appropriate office footwear? Uh, I don't THINK so! But what if MY boss doesn't want them in the office? What then?






The truth be told, we ladies know that the shoes we wear are NOT chosen for their safety features. We generally choose shoes because they're cute and, whether we want to admit it or not, because they make us feel sexy. Will that have a negative effect on our personal productivity? Why should it?! Is what we wear on our feet indicative of what's going on in our heads? Um... I should hope not. Does wearing sensible oxfords help women climb the corporate ladder faster than peep toe wedges? Or will we distract the young hot-shot gunning for that corner office by strutting around in 6-inch heels? (Hey - if he's THAT easily distracted, maybe he isn't cut out for the corner office anyway!)






As for the young lady in the “stripper shoes”, turns out that the manager’s preference aside, there wasn’t anything in the company’s policies that spoke to allowed (or disallowed) heel heights. So she continues to wear these shoes (oy vey!) to work. But I do pray that, for her sake, there isn’t an emergency evacuation on any day that she’s wearing them!



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15SEP2010

As fate would have it, there was an emergency evacuation drill today at the office. And yes, she was wearing the 6-inch high shoe heels. Unfortunately, I didn't get to see how she manoeuvred her feet getting out of the building.

Reclaiming ME . . .

I bought a book yesterday! Actually I bought TWO!! Murder mystery novels - my favourite kinds. Big hairy deal, you may be saying. Well, actually, for me it is. Here's why . . .

I haven't read a book for fun in so long I actually can't remember the last time. That bothers me a LOT. Reading has been an integral part of my life all my life. For me .. it was the greatest escape. When I was lost in a book, a megaton bomb could go off beside me and I probably wouldn't hear it.

I was never seen without a book. Some 30 years later, I still have childhood friends who comment that one of the enduring memories they have of me is that I was always reading. Luckily for me, I had a Mom who was also known for loving to read. So, she encouraged us as kids to read and fed this addiction by always getting us more books. One of her favourite stories is one where we had walked to town (we lived in "the country") and she bought us our latest issues of Nancy Drew (me) and Hardy Boys (my brother). On our walk back we read our books - finishing them before we reached back home.

So what happened that caused my absolute love of reading to falter? I was discussing this with a friend who gave me my "A-ha" moment. She mentioned that she stopped reading for fun after her daughter was born. That was it! And I know why too. A lot of pregnancy books tell you that after having a baby you will find yourself to be VERY fatigued. Babies are very demanding they say and they are right. Your time is not your own. Your attention span becomes very limited as you're always on for the baby. I remember growing to love CNN's Headline News as I got news in little nuggets - all I could manage at a time. Losing myself in a book became a casualty of my being a new mom.

But it became the first of many things I sacrificed as I tackled the triple threat of being a good wife, mom and career woman. Little by little, I lost ME. I no longer did what I wanted - I did what was good for my husband, my kids, my job. Although they didn't demand this of me, I felt that the ME was expendable, and besides - wasn't this my role now?

This past year, perhaps triggered by my milestone birthday, I decided, "Enough!". I started searching for ME - little by little reclaiming the things that used to make me happy. So I started going to movies by myself like I used to before I met my husband. I bought new make-up, I started getting my nails done. I even signed up for a short writing course (writing was another childhood love). All the things that preceded being a wife and mom. And I realized that I wasn't abandoning my family or even my career. I was enriching them by reclaiming ME.


So - like I used to do, I'm curling up in bed, happily immersed in a book and feeling more peaceful. Yay ME!

... and they call it mid-life crisis.

When I imagined myself at the age that I am now, I had a very clear picture of what I would be like.  I'd be free from the corporate life, having my own successful business that allowed my uniform to be jeans and a polo shirt. I'd be tooling around town in my red Jeep Wrangler, picking my kids up at prep school (I always knew I'd have kids later rather than sooner). I'd have the top of my Jeep down and hop out, wearing my signature cowboy boots, tossing my locs over my shoulder. Yeah.. That's the ticket!


So how does my mental picture stack up, now that I'm at that age? Well ....

Locs - check
Cowboy boots - check
Young kids - check
Red Jeep Wrangler - we-e-e-l-l-l does a scale model count?


As for the rest, why depress myself even further? So, what happened? I chose the safe road. Buried myself in trying to climb the corporate ladder, becoming a wife and mother. Silencing the rebel in me and bringing forth the my sane and sensible person . In a word, I grew BORING!

Psychologists have a phrase for where I am now - mid-life crisis. According to Wikipedia, a mid-life crisis is ". . . a period of dramatic self-doubt that is felt by some individuals in the "middle years" or middle age of life, as a result of sensing the passing of their own youth and the imminence of their old age". Yup .. in that case, I'm a classic example. Perhaps it was the realization that my second child would be entering college at about the time that I'd be slated to retire that triggered it for me. Whatever it is, life is too short to remain in stasis.

So that mental picture may not be quite what I'd imagined but it's not over yet. I have two lovely boys (7 & 4), a husband I consider my soulmate, a fairly decent job on in a field that I love. And one that I'm working with my friends on converting to our own  business. It ain't all bad .. but I intend for it to get better.

I remember Donny Osmond singing back in the day "And they call it Puppy Love...". I need a song for this period of my life. Perhaps Donny can help - after all, he seems to have gone thru that himself (how else do explain that  "White and Nerdy" music video?).

As for me .. I'm coming out swinging. My intention is to use this blog to document my steps towards achieving the vision I had for myself.  Stasis means death. Me - I intend to be Kicking it!