Kicking it!
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Kicking it!
Posts
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Monday, November 4, 2013
Friday, August 23, 2013
Thursday, August 15, 2013
He’s Got My Back
I was reading
Cindy Beall's entry on Living the Surrendered Life today and saw a lot of me in it. In my case, the life
I had envisioned revolved around a career track that included lots of
recognition, lots of money and everyone knowing who I was (from my many, many media appearances, of course). To be
honest, it's one of the reasons I kept my "maiden" name. However, none
of these plans involved God - in any way.
Then around 3 years ago God hauled me, kicking, screaming & crying, off that track. For the first 2 years, I kept asking God WHY he was punishing me this way, as I tried to claw my way back to my "designated" track. But no, He would have none of it. I even tried to guilt Him - "Lord, it isn't fair to the others. It's putting too much pressure on my husband, my family, my kids! Think about THEM, Lord". But He saw through my self-serving "plea".
This year, things got ratcheted up (or down) to a new level. But by now, I was beginning to catch on (yes, mi head tuff!). It was all about yielding, SURRENDERING, fully to God. And for someone who was a card-carrying, placard-bearing control freak, THAT was a huge step. However, in taking that step, I learned that in trying to save my own life, I was destroying it. I learned that in putting my whole trust in God, I was not exhibiting weakness (control freaks HATE feeling weak), but strength.
There have been a LOT of tears in the past 3 years. FAR more than in all the previous mutter-mumble years of my life - combined! And, there has been a lot of crying out "Why me, Lord?!”. But, like the caring Father, who sees the big picture, He did what He had to do. Now I feel, deep inside, that I've completed a level and am now being prepped to move to a new level. I’m actually looking forward to it, ’cause I know my Heavenly Daddy has got my back. Thank you Jesus!
Then around 3 years ago God hauled me, kicking, screaming & crying, off that track. For the first 2 years, I kept asking God WHY he was punishing me this way, as I tried to claw my way back to my "designated" track. But no, He would have none of it. I even tried to guilt Him - "Lord, it isn't fair to the others. It's putting too much pressure on my husband, my family, my kids! Think about THEM, Lord". But He saw through my self-serving "plea".
This year, things got ratcheted up (or down) to a new level. But by now, I was beginning to catch on (yes, mi head tuff!). It was all about yielding, SURRENDERING, fully to God. And for someone who was a card-carrying, placard-bearing control freak, THAT was a huge step. However, in taking that step, I learned that in trying to save my own life, I was destroying it. I learned that in putting my whole trust in God, I was not exhibiting weakness (control freaks HATE feeling weak), but strength.
There have been a LOT of tears in the past 3 years. FAR more than in all the previous mutter-mumble years of my life - combined! And, there has been a lot of crying out "Why me, Lord?!”. But, like the caring Father, who sees the big picture, He did what He had to do. Now I feel, deep inside, that I've completed a level and am now being prepped to move to a new level. I’m actually looking forward to it, ’cause I know my Heavenly Daddy has got my back. Thank you Jesus!
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| The Surrendered Life |
Monday, August 5, 2013
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
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